


How It Happened

by nutmeag83



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Dialogue-Only, Friends to Lovers, Humor, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mycroft Being a Good Brother, Mycroft Being a Meddler, No Smut, Oblivious John, Oblivious Sherlock, Parentlock, Post-Season/Series 04, Texting, everyone ships it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 07:17:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16090730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nutmeag83/pseuds/nutmeag83
Summary: John and Rosie move back to Baker Street, experiments and proposals happen, Mycroft is a meddlesome brother, confusion is had by all.





	1. Please, For My Sanity

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little bit of dialogue fun I cooked up when I needed a laugh. There is an inspiration for this fic, but I don't want to give it away too soon. I'll link to it when the appropriate chapter comes along.
> 
> Not beta'd or Brit-picked. The boys are too busy to be annoyed by this. I hope you are too. ;)

**_Mrs. Hudson and John_ **

“I’ve about had it up to hear with him, John! You can’t expect a lady my age to handle him all on my own.”

“He’s a grown man, Mrs. Hudson.”

“An aimless genius should never be left his own devices, no matter his age. My poor house can’t take much more damage.”

“Didn’t Mycroft—guilt-ridden sod—agree to revamp both your flat and flat C once Sherlock’s is done?”

“And I’d like to keep everything in good shape once it’s finished. With Sherlock running amok, that’s not likely to happen. My hip can’t be chasing after him with a dust pan. I need someone young to help me out.”

“I’m not young.”

“Twaddle.”

“I have a daughter to look after.”

“Yes, and she’ll get far better care living here with three adults to pamper her than she’s getting with a single parent, though I know you’re doing your best, dear.”

“Three adults? But I thought I’d be moving in to take care of Sherlock. That would leave you and me taking care of both Rosie and Sherlock.”

“Division of labor! Besides, Sherlock is perfectly capable of helping out with Rosie. In fact, keeping him busy with her will save him from destroying the flat. He’ll be too busy to experiment! Not to mention, he’d never let a bit of harm come to that precious girl.”

“He is quite taken with her, isn’t he?”

“You should hear him when you’re not around. It’s Rosie this, and Watson that. He would move the moon and sun for her.”

“Yeah …”

“So you’ll move back in? We’ll have the space once the renovations are done.”

*sigh* “I can’t believe I’m even contemplating this. I’m a grown man with a daughter, thinking of moving back in with a mad flatmate.”

“John Watson. Haven’t you learned better than to care what other people think? Being ordinary has never worked out for you.”

“It gave me Ro.”

“And she is darling, and you _love_ her. But it’s okay to admit she wasn’t what you imagined for a perfect life.”

“Mrs–”

“Oh my. Not my place, I know. And we’re getting off topic. Please, John? Move back in? For my sanity.”

“Maybe.”


	2. For Science, John!

**_John and Sherlock_ **

“Holy sh– Did America’s Test Kitchen move into our flat?”

“You’re hilarious, John.”

“I like to think so. So what’s this then?”

“Science.”

“Looks more like baby food.”

“In this particular case, yes, science is food-related.”

“And Rosie-related?”

“More children than just Rosie like to eat, John.”

“Yes, but we’ve only got the one living here.”

“All test results should be transferrable to other children.”

“And will you be testing them on said other children?”

“Why would I do that?”

“To get accurate results? Not all children will enjoy aubergine, tomato, and is that oregano?”

“Hmm? Ah yes. Angelo’s idea. A sort of veggie ragout.”

“Well, as tasty as that sounds to me, most children won’t like it.”

“Why not?”

“Lack of good taste?”

“Rosie enjoyed it. Though she’s in the top five percent for physical and mental acuity in her age group, so of course her tastes would be more refined than the average child’s.”

“I see. What else you got?”

“Sweet potato and spinach, raspberry-pear oatmeal, collard greens and lentils, coconut-banana smoothie.”

“Well. That’s … ambitious.”

“A balanced diet needn’t be bland and over processed. Rosie requires variety to avoid boredom.”

“Is that what happened to you?”

“Hmm?”

“Never mind. This is, um, thanks.”

“No need to thank me, John. It’s for science.”

“Of course it is. But it’s not just the food I’m thanking you for. It’s all of it. Letting us move back in, taking the C flat so we could spread out up here. Hell, you even change most of the nappies and get Ro back to sleep when she wakes up in the night.”

“As I said, it’s for science. Children grow and change rapidly at this age. They are a fascinating microcosm of humanity. She is providing me with valuable information for my job.”

“Her dirty nappies will help you solve crimes better?”

“You disparaged my tobacco ash experiment, but I’ll remind you that it helped me solve the Fineworth case in less than a day.”

“Hah. Yeah, I suppose so. Well, all the same. Your sciencing has made my life easier. I appreciate it, self-serving though it may be. Anyway. I got called in to work. You and Ro be okay for the afternoon? I should be back around six.”

“Mmm.”

“Taking that as a yes. Behave, the both of you. And … thanks again, Sherlock.”

*Closing door, feet on stairs.*

“Anything for you, John.”


	3. Will You Marry … My Brother?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this](http://kitten-kin.tumblr.com/post/176774254779/mycroft-just-wants-sherlock-to-be-happy-the) and [this](http://kitten-kin.tumblr.com/post/176925840849/continued-from-this-post-spoiler-sherlock) comic. This is the post that sparked my imagination for this whole fic. I tried writing a regular-format fic with this scene as the jumping off point, but it wasn’t working, so I started writing these little dialogue-only things and liked the outcome much better. Thanks to [kitten-kin](http://kitten-kin.tumblr.com) for inspiring me! I hope you don’t mind that I used some of your wording. It just worked so well. I highly suggest checking out the link, then starting the comic from the beginning. It’s adorable beyond words.

**_Mycroft, Sherlock, and John_ **

“John, will you do me the honor of becoming my brother-in-law?”

…

“Mycroft, did you just propose to John on my behalf?!?”

“Well someone had to, Sherlock. This ridiculousness needs to end.”

“But but– I um– that isn’t– we aren’t–”

“Sherlock, go put Rosie to bed. Mycroft, sit.”

…

“NOW.”

*feet on stairs* *chair scraping against lino*

“Now, John–”

“None of your usual bullshit, Mycroft. Give it to me straight. What is all of this about?”

“Right. Sherlock considers you family. Recent events have shown that your lives are dangerous, and I worry for the young Ms. Watson’s future, and your own. I think it would befit everyone here to bring you into the fold. I’ve taken the liberty of drawing up the paperwork. Adoption papers, banking information, name change form. Everything is ready, as you can see.”

“Forged signatures and all …”

“I wanted this to be as painless as possible.”

“Given my own attraction to danger and oddities, I shouldn’t be surprised that I’m about to say yes to tying myself to Sherlock—and the rest of the Holmes brood—in perpetuity. Who needs normal, right? Okay then. I accept.”

*Thud*

“Sherlock, get down here. Good bye, Mycroft. I’ll be in touch with any questions.”

“Of course. Good luck. Oh, these have trackers in them. I’m sure we’ll all feel safer knowing where everyone is. Good bye, John.”

“Mmm. So, how much of that did you hear, Sherlock?”

“I think I caught all the relevant bits.”

“Of course you did. And you’re okay with it all? John and Rosie Watson-Holmes? You’d be stuck with us.”

“Obviously.”

“I reckon it’s in everyone’s best interest to put these on now. You do understand what the ring–”

“I might not usually be amenable to this sort of thing, but I’m not an idiot, John.”

“Right. Looks like this one’s yours.”

…

“Sherlock?”

…

“Sherlock? You in there? Why this still freaks me out, I dunno. Fine. Let me help you out. God your fingers are long.”

…

“There. Perfect size, of course. I have to say, the paperwork had me a little freaked out, but the rings make me feel better. I like knowing we’re in this together. That I’ll always be able to come back to you, and you to me, no matter what crazy things happen. Hmm, mine fits too. Your brother is a weird bastard, you know? Well, my brother too now, I suppose.”

“Oh, I was going to …”

“I can handle a simple ring, Sherlock.”

“Right. Yes. It looks … good. Yes. Good. Though, with your skin tone, I would have chosen gold.”

“With all the shenanigans we get up to? No, I think titanium was a good choice, even though it makes us match.” *faint crying from upstairs* “Bad dream. I’ll get her. Why don’t you sit down? You look a little faint.”

*footsteps on stairs*

“Wait, John. You put them on the wrong hand. Ah well. He is excitable. He must’ve got it wrong due to nerves. There, that’s better. We’ll fix his later. Sherlock Watson-Holmes. Yes, that’ll do.”


	4. How It Happened, Part 1

**_Greg and Sherlock_ **

“You’re unusually chipper for doing paperwork.”

“Hmm.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were in love.”

“That’s– No of course– Why would– No.”

“Right. Who is the lucky girl? Or guy?”

“Seriously, Lestrade? Since when have I shown an interest in anyone?”

“Since John showed up at a crime scene with you.”

“Not only is that a preposterous assertion, but it happened years ago. Why would I be happy now about something that occurred seven years ago? And what does that have to do with _love_?”

“Well, like you said, you don’t exactly become interested in people. It’s been pretty much John, that dominatrix, and Moriarty—by the way, illustrious company he’s keeping. But yeah, he’s the only one I’ve seen you actually moon over.”

“I do not moon!”

“Do so. Hmmm. What _could_ have changed to make you go from mooning to honeymooning?”

“It’s nothing. We’re just doing well. They’re back at Baker Street where they belong, John and I got engaged, and Ro’s growing like a weed—she’s sure to be in the top five percent mentally. Our experiments have been very enlightening. I think I might–”

“Engaged?!?”

“Well. Yes. It’s been on my mind lately, ever since I asked them to move back in. And given how smoothly that transition has gone and how in-tune we are these days, it only made sense. Then he asked before I could. I was a touch surprised he wanted to try the whole marriage thing again, given what happened last time. But we’re practically married already. The paperwork just ensures that he and Rosie are taken care of if something happens to me. I must say, though, I wasn’t expecting to be so moved hearing him say ‘John Watson-Holmes.’ I suppose some of his romantic nature has rubbed off on me. Ah well. Goes to show we’ll do well together.”

“Right.”

“And for once, Mycroft did some good, pulling together the paperwork so quickly. Rosie’s adoption has already gone through. Would you like to be my best man? I’d like at least a small ceremony to seal the deal. Not my usual, I know, but this is…different. He’s different. I want things I never expected to want before.”

“Huh. Well, congrats then. And yeah, I’d be chuffed to be your best man. Do I get to make a speech and tell embarrassing stories? Like the time you lost your trousers and pants when you annoyed the witness’s dog?”

“I’ll let you borrow my best man booklet. It has good pointers, as evidenced by my excellent best man speech for John.”

“You mooned over yours and his relationship for twenty minutes, then solved a murder.”

“Exactly! Wait! I don’t _moon_ , Greg Lestrade.”

“Yeah you do.”

“Maybe a little.”


	5. Good Morning, Love

**_John and Sherlock_ **

“Good morning, love.”

“Morning, John.”

“Ha ha. I was talking to Ro, you prat.”

“Right. Yes. Of course. But still, good morning.”

“Morning, silly man. What’s on the agenda for today? Please say you’re done taking pictures of dirty nappies.”

“It’s imperative to know which foods do what to her digestive system. It’s–”

“For science. Yeah, I know.”

“And no. I thought we might go to the park today. Forecast is for sunny skies and warmer temperatures.”

“Ah. Right. That should be fun for you two.”

“Are you not coming with us? I thought it would be a nice family outing.”

“Family … yeah. Yeah, that sounds really good.”

“Good.”

…

…

…

“So. Breakfast?”

“I’ll start the tea.”


	6. How It Happened, Part 2

**_Greg and John_ **

“There you are, you bastard. Pint?”

“Hey Greg. Bitters for me. Sherlock was making noises about dress shopping. I’m predicting tears. From both of them. Need to have my wits about me to settle that later.”

“Even the boring bits with you two aren’t very boring, eh?”

“Never.”

“So. You’re pretty calm about the whole thing. Granted, you’ve got the reputation for being unflappable at the Yard, so I reckon it’s not so surprising.”

“Drama queens they may be, but it’s just dress shopping.”

“Haha! I was referring to the recent legal event between you and–”

“Ah, right. Yeah. Sherlock told you?”

“Mmhm.”

“Not much to say then, if he’s already done the honors.”

“With Sherlock’s knack for hyperbole? I’d like to hear your side of the story. By the way, I can’t say I’m surprised by the turn of events, you two being what you are and all.”

“Hah! True.”

“So?”

“So, like you said, it all makes sense, given how things have been the past few months. In fact, I’m surprised one of us didn’t think about it sooner. But we can be right idiots, so perhaps we needed Mycroft to get the ball rolling.”

“Mycroft? What’s Sherlock’s brother got to d–”

“Ah, I reckon Sherlock _would_ leave him out of his version. What then. Did he say it was his own idea? Typical. Nah, it was all Mycroft, bless. He had the adoption papers all drawn up, paperwork for Rosie’s trust fund. Apparently he felt that we needed to be looked after if we were going to continue to associate with Sherlock. Which, not really necessary– What are you do–?”

“Just need to send a quick text. Go on.”

“Right. Well, um, it was my choice to continue being his best friend despite all the drama and danger, but I can’t say I’m not breathing a little easier knowing Rosie will be cared for if something happens to me. And this way, I don’t have to keep up full-time at the surgery. Rosie’s uni is already settled, and apparently even I’m getting a little ‘inheritance,’ so there’s both our futures sorted. It feels odd, being sort of adopted at my age. If anyone was going to have any problems accepting it, it would be Sherlock. But he’s been pretty gung-ho on it all. Acting a little odd, but he’s never reacted like I expect he should, so yeah.

“I don’t quite get why Mycroft put our tracking devices in matching rings. Maybe he wanted to go with that ridiculous opening remark of ‘do me the honor of becoming my brother-in-law?’ and decided to go full-on with the props. And my name is now legally Watson-Holmes, for red tape purposes. I think. I’m a little unclear on the specifics. So maybe rings were just easiest? I find it best not to question the motives of a Holmes. Far too convoluted for me.”

...

“You okay, Greg? You look a little faint. Need a whisky?”

“Umm. No. I’m, um, fine.”

“Dear God. What story did he tell? It involved a swordfight, didn’t it? The bugger. Yeah, sorry. The reality is pretty prosaic.”

“No, no. It’s, it’s just–” *ding* *ding* “Right, well, I’ve got to, um. Looks like an emergency. Sorry. I gotta dash. Good luck with the, um. Yeah.”

“Huh. I wonder what Sherlock said to him?”


	7. you’re one mad bastard

**_Texts between Greg and Mycroft_ **

**Greg Lestrade:** what the hell is going on mycroft? this is greg lestrade by the way

**Mycroft Holmes:** I am aware. What is going on with what? Your lack of specificity is appalling.

**Greg Lestrade:** what’s going on with sherlock and john? s says they’re engaged and j seems to think s is just adopting r. but you got them matching rings so there’s more to it than that. so spill

**Mycroft Holmes:** I’m merely being a helpful brother. I’ve got the means to have the paperwork done quickly, and those two have been through enough.

**Greg Lestrade:** right. you purposefully made the wording in the paperwork confusing and then staged a conversation with john that sherlock overheard, then you sat back and watched the fireworks.

**Mycroft Holmes:** If they’re too dense to understand what I did for them, it’s not my fault.

**Greg Lestrade:** and you’re being purposefully ambiguous. you’re going to tear them apart, once they realize they’re not on the same page.

**Mycroft Holmes:** And why is it that the ambiguity is so easily made?

**Greg Lestrade:** shit. ok yeah i get it. they both need to pull their heads out of their arses. How did you know s would react positively to marrying j? you missed his best man speech but you have to know marriage isn’t something he thinks much of.

**Mycroft Holmes:** Because John Watson makes my dear brother think and react differently to everything.

**Greg Lestrade:** what about j? he told me himself that he was swearing off love and marriage aftr the whole mary thing. and i don’t think he’s gay…

**Mycroft Holmes:** He’ll do anything for Sherlock, including admitting his love for him, once he’s figured it out.

**Greg Lestrade:** you’re one mad bastard. you know that?

**Mycroft Holmes:** Quite.


	8. Molly Ships It

**_Molly and John_ **

“So it’s going well then? Living with Sherlock again?”

“It’s fantastic. Better than I’d imagined.”

“Good! You both look really happy now.”

“We are. I’m a little worried actually. Everything has gone so smoothly, it’s bound to get all fucked up soon. Nothing ever comes this easily to me. Even in the beginning with me and Sherlock. We clicked yeah, but our home life was more nightmare than dream. But this time, we’re like a well-oiled machine, but with a kid.”

“Like a married couple?”

“Hah! Exactly. He’s been amazing and thoughtful and he’s so good with Rosie and he makes me– Oh.”

“John?”

“Shit.”

“You okay?”

“I don’t know whether to hug Mycroft or punch him.”

“What–”

“The matching rings! The name change. Sodding bastard played me. I might not have realized my feelings if not for him. Why did Sherlock go along with it though? He had to have known what his brother was doing, right? Punching him. Definitely punching the British Government. Think I’ll go to prison for that? At least Rosie will be cared for. But Sherlock went along with it. Why? Marriage, real or fake, isn’t exactly something that makes him happy. He–”

“But he _is_ happy.”

“What?”

“He’s happy. I’ve never seen him happier, even when no one is looking. Especially then.”

“But it’s me. And marriage. He wouldn’t–”

“End of May, right?”

“What?”

“That’s when whatever happened with Mycroft happened?”

“Yeah, how’d you–”

“That’s when he started to … glow for lack of a better word. He’s been loads better since you two moved in, but yeah, end of May was another big change in his attitude. Happy, but also, settled. Less anxious. You too, I should say. And then there’s the touching.”

“Touching?”

“Really John. If one of you isn’t touching the other, you’re standing within ten centimeters of each other.”

“We don’t–”

“Ask anyone.”

“So he …”

“Has been in love with you for years, yes.”

“And he wants–”

“To spend the rest of his life with you.”

“Oh. Ohhh. I have to go, Molly. Thanks!”

*door slams*

“Not the brightest bulb. I really don’t get what Sherlock sees in him.”


	9. How It Happened, Finale

**_John and Sherlock_ **

“Are you looking at my, um, the wedding pictures?”

“I’m deciding whether to get us matching suits.”

“Suits?”

“We look quite dapper, but I’m leaning against matching. We already have identical rings, and everyone attending will know why we’re there. Let’s not overdo it.”

“Sherlock–”

“If you’d prefer we match, though, we’ll do that. Whatever makes you happy.”

“Right. Um, can we talk?”

“Mhhmm.”

“Let’s just put the laptop away. Right then. Sherlock. Um.”

“John.”

“Yeah, so. Hmm. Are you pretending to want all of this so Rosie and I don’t move out?”

“What?”

“You like having us here.”

“Obviously.”

“And you’d like to keep it that way.”

“Get on with it, John.”

“Are you using marriage as a means of keeping me here, regardless of your feelings on the institution?”

“Yes. Of course.”

“Oh.”

“It’s the reason marriage exists in the first place, isn’t it? Two people who love each other and want to make sure they stay connected for life. They bind themselves by law—and with the blessing of a deity, if you believe in that sort of rot—to ensure the other won’t leave. Track record for marriage is poor these days, but that stems from impetuosity that occurs during the so-called honeymoon period. Whereas we’ve known each other for years and have already been dealt the worse a couple could be, and we’re still here and together.”

“But you scoff at marriage.”

“Traditional marriage, yes. And if it were just you and me, I might not be so keen. But we have Rosie to think about.”

“Oh.”

“I’ve never- never really let myself think about it. Never expected there would be anyone worth it. I was going to be alone, and I was fine with that. But then you happened. Even then, I didn’t think about it. Until I saw the rings and heard you call yourself John Watson-Holmes. It just felt …”

“Right?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah.”

“It pains me to admit that I approve of something Mycroft instigated.”

“Yeah. Greg says you left that out of your explanation.”

“It was our moment. I didn’t want to ruin it.”

“We can fix that.”

“How? Wait, why are you taking my ring?”

“Sherlock Holmes. You are amazing and intelligent and the most infuriating man I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. I can’t imagine my life without you. Will you marry me?”

…

“Sherlock. You going to do the blink–”

“Yes!”

“Yes, you’ll do the blinky thing?”

“Yes, I’ll marry you.”

“Good. May I?”

“Left hand.”

“I’m aware.”

“You got it wrong last time.”

“Heh. Sorry about that. I was a little dazed.”

“I reckoned. I fixed mine but forgot to fix yours.”

“You can rectify that now.”

“Indeed. Yes. Much better. Also.”

“Yes?”

“You forgot to seal it with a kiss the first time.”

“I didn’t know you’re into that sort of thing.”

“I don’t think it’ll be so bad, if it’s with you.”

“Ringing endorsement, that. We don’t have to though. We’ve got the rings, the question, and an upcoming ceremony, if I’m understanding your talk of suits correctly. The deal is pretty well sealed, I’d think.”

“Whatever makes you happy.”

“I _am_ happy. And I want you to be as well.”

“I am.”

“Good.”

“Kiss?”

“If you’d like.”

“I’d like.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read all the way through! I hope you enjoyed this silly foray.


End file.
